Well, we have been anxiously awaiting May 1...our new insurance plan begins. With this change brings forth many other changes, including a change in doctors for the boys! I am looking most to this, not because I know I am going to have to spend a small fortune in gas money trucking my little dudes around, but because I am determined to find some answers! I have honestly had a bait of "quick fixes via medicinal cocktails"! No more band-aids, please!
Truly, our boys couldn't be more different, yet are diagnosed equally. The youngest's ADHD is more prominent than his Asperger's, but our middle son's Asperger's seems to be literally strangling the life out of him lately. It genuinely breaks my heart, to hear the only options at this point are to either "call the cops" or "shove him in a "psych ward". I am convinced that there MUST be other answers! They may not be easy, but I KNOW they are there...somewhere! I am even more convinced that somewhere in America there IS a doctor whose sole benefit is for the children & not how much of a "kick-back" he's gonna receive from a drug company.
So far this week, I have been cursed at, called names, kicked twice, spit on, just to mention a few...and just when I get the mindset to claim a case of the "mulligrubs", I find myself somewhat ashamed. Yeah, life stinks from time to time, but this is simply a short season in this life. A brief hardship, perhaps? Each thing I have encountered this week is just a small portion as to what my Savior, Jesus Christ, endured, on my behalf. What suffering He undertook, as payment for MY sins! Yet, in some merciful way, He still loves me, unconditionally, which I MUST do for my boys as well. I must intercede for them, with prayer & fasting as never before. Time draweth nigh...and their actions will reap eternal consequences. I must stand in the gap, as needed...for that is the place in which the Lord has put me. This is my here. This is my now. These are my boys. I purpose in my heart to NEVER give up on them. I pray I never lose sight of that small glimmer of love that twinkles in their eyes from time to time, when there is but a fleeting moment of clarity, and I can for just a moment see into their souls, through their eyes.
